Wil's Rant

This is one of the tougher topics of the day. Reportedly, schools are now canceling dances in response to the manner of dress and conduct of the students. Increasingly students are dressing more promiscuously and effectively dirty dancing while at school functions. The principals are starting to make dress codes and canceling the dances in response. I'm not sure what the correct response should be to these trends. I also have a teenage daughter and as such I share in these concerns. I'm not sure that canceling the dances is the correct response. To my knowledge, no student has ever gotten pregnant or contracted a sexual disease while dancing in a school sponsored event. I personally would be horrified if my daughter was to dress in the manner that I have witnessed other teenage girls do. We can't really blame them for emulating what they see on T.V. all the time. I would much prefer to see them dancing at school under supervision than at a private event where this supervision would not be present. Perhaps this is more a problem of the lack of good role models than anything else. But there are some good ones. Hillary Duff does not dress in this manner and she is one of my kids favorites. There is also the Olsen Twins who also dress a little more reserved. To date, my daughter has never even kissed a boy or gone out with anyone. I know this for a fact as I intensely monitor all my kids internet activity and have tracking features for everything they do there. Perhaps we are in a better position to keep them on the strait and narrow because we live in the country and can spot trouble coming miles away. This would not be the case if we lived in the city where the chance for trouble would come much more easily and often. It's actually one of the main reasons we moved out of the city of Ottawa over ten years ago.... We have never looked back. In the setting we now live in, the kids seem to lag a little behind the city kids in this regard, a very good thing in my view. The kids today seem to be in an awful rush to grow up. Just because their bodies may be mature enough doesn't mean they are emotionally and intellectually ready for adult relationships. Another factor is the fact that once started in a more adult relationship, the kids focus on school and career seems to wane. I definitely share in the concerns of all parents with the current trends. We might start by simply talking with our kids, know what they are up to, try to emphasize that they should try to enjoy this time without all the concerns of the adult world, and lead by example. A couple of my teenage daughter's friends have already gotten themselves into a bit of trouble that these kinds of activities can lead to. Our response is to spend time with our daughter discussing the issues and letting her know that she can come to us about anything for help or counsel. As a result she does just that. We discuss everything from sex to birth control to drugs, smoking to dress code. There is no topic that we will not discuss with her and she feels comfortable talking with us about anything, we know this because she does. Oh, and as to the internet tracking, she is well aware that we do this. It was one of the conditions that we imposed when she first requested to use the computer for chat lines, e-mail and the like. She is aware that there are truly no secrets on the internet and the dangers possible make this necessary. I specifically have installed trackers for both the internet and the keyboard itself so that I am always aware of what my kids are up to while on the computer. She has only received an unexpected and unknown source message once, and she did exactly the right thing by bringing it to my attention and not responding to the message as she was instructed to do. I tracked the message to a Toronto 20 year old male who she did not know. Her actions were comforting to me, but I would have known about it anyway had she not chosen to bring it to my attention. This is the approach we must all take as parents if we want to protect our kids from the kinds of dangers that can be found there.