Saturday, December 18, 2004
And for A Repeat Appearance
I had a lot of fun writing this one so I decided to re-post it after being reminded of it by something I just read. It was written in response to news that scientists had successfully spliced a human and cow embryo.
Saturday, January 17, 2004 Human-Cow Embryos?:
It's all becoming clear to me now. The reason for developing human-cow embryos. It's to compliment the stunning success in artificial insemination. In some cases, during the artificial procedure the fertility drugs cause women to have multiple child births. This can be taxing to say the least not to mention the increased incidence of defects. Solution, the new improved cow-human mother. Think of it, a woman with perhaps six or eight udders as opposed to the restrictive 2 they must suffice with now. Now the woman could feed eight mouths at once. Hold on a minute, she couldn't possibly hold eight children at once. Not to worry, a simple gene splice with an octopus should fix that. The new improved cowmanapus would be able to have,milk, and hold eight babies at once.
Hold on a minute, wouldn't all these improvements to the woman not make the men feel left out. Perhaps we can think of something to give the men more of to make up for it. As well the improvements to the cows would also bring advantages. Imagine cows with human heads. No more herding required. Simply add one or two improved models to any heard. They could act as translators as well as giving cownsell to the others. In addition they could calm the regular cows at time of slaughter. I imagine the conversation going something like this. " No Hector those aren't gunshots your hearing, and that's not blood your smelling. Farmer Jones is making a new recipe and the noise is simply Bessy having one of her spells. Now everyone stay calm and everything will be over quickly." The benefits go on and on.
So there you have it, I just had to think of things in a rational manner for it all to make sense.
# posted by William Smith : 8:52 PM
Saturday, January 17, 2004 Human-Cow Embryos?:
It's all becoming clear to me now. The reason for developing human-cow embryos. It's to compliment the stunning success in artificial insemination. In some cases, during the artificial procedure the fertility drugs cause women to have multiple child births. This can be taxing to say the least not to mention the increased incidence of defects. Solution, the new improved cow-human mother. Think of it, a woman with perhaps six or eight udders as opposed to the restrictive 2 they must suffice with now. Now the woman could feed eight mouths at once. Hold on a minute, she couldn't possibly hold eight children at once. Not to worry, a simple gene splice with an octopus should fix that. The new improved cowmanapus would be able to have,milk, and hold eight babies at once.
Hold on a minute, wouldn't all these improvements to the woman not make the men feel left out. Perhaps we can think of something to give the men more of to make up for it. As well the improvements to the cows would also bring advantages. Imagine cows with human heads. No more herding required. Simply add one or two improved models to any heard. They could act as translators as well as giving cownsell to the others. In addition they could calm the regular cows at time of slaughter. I imagine the conversation going something like this. " No Hector those aren't gunshots your hearing, and that's not blood your smelling. Farmer Jones is making a new recipe and the noise is simply Bessy having one of her spells. Now everyone stay calm and everything will be over quickly." The benefits go on and on.
So there you have it, I just had to think of things in a rational manner for it all to make sense.
# posted by William Smith : 8:52 PM
# posted by Wil Smith : 5:40 p.m.
